Rag Doll

The title is from a great Maroon 5 song called "Rag Doll"

How ya feelin?The day has had its way with both of us
And no, Ive gone out of my way
But I'm not free
From this pain Im reelin
I was a fool to think some day you would come around
But no no no I'm not thinking that way
Cause now I see

You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just wana scream

I think you should just go away cause
Theres no neccesity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby your not comin in

Hows your day been?
Cause mine has taken strange and ugly turns
But no no no I feel better today
Cause Im off my knees

You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just wana scream

I think you should just go away cause
Theres no neccesity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby your not comin in

A heart made for a lot of sorrow
No you cant come back tomorrow
Shut my windows, lock my doors
Cause my heart won't be your rag doll anymore
Yeah....

I think you should just go away cause
Theres no neccesity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby your not comin in

A heart made for a lot of sorrow
No you cant come back tomorrow
Shut my windows, lock my doors
Cause my heart won't be your rag doll anymorewhoa....
Cause my heart wont be your Rag Doll anymore!


So this is my message to you, Kent. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

I hate how I'm so smart, yet do stupid things.

Last night a ghost came back in person. Kent was in town, and we went out to the club. He sang me a great song that felt good to hear. Apologized for having been a massive jerk to me two years ago, and we talked, laughed, and had fun.

We also danced, he got pretty grabby with me... It was enjoyable, I let myself just be in the moment. Afterwards I dropped him off where he was staying and he told me how much he missed me. We kissed a little bit, and I told him straight up I knew he only missed the sex. He said that wasn't true, that he respected me and meant everything he said.

Today we were supposed to go have lunch together. He bailed on me for that. We were also supposed to crash together after a massive outdoor concert we're going to tonight. He also bailed on that one. He totally seemed distant and acted like nothing was said or happened last night.

This is so typical. I hate myself for allowing me to fuck with my head, once again. So, I guess the old adage "fool me twice, shame on me...." applies.