Ghostly hauntings...

A woman can’t help but re-examine her past relationships in her life, many times over. The happy times, the not so happy times, why we broke up. For me, this happens everytime I wind up single and feel lonely. I start picturing what it would be like had I stayed in those relationships. Would I still be the same person I am today?

For me, a few guys pop up in my head occasionally. I guess they just left a mark. Just when I thought I had forgotten about A., he comes haunting me.

My sister was looking for something in the couch in our basement, and comes upstairs with a stainless steel brush zippo lighter in her hands. It was A’s. He had lost it and was really sad. I had bought him a replacement one for christmas.

One of them I went out with while I was in high school, it was long distance but we somehow managed to make it work, it helped that he worked in the same province for the summer. I foolishly fell for someone else and broke up with him. Today, I am really kicking myself in the ass, because he’s the one I want to marry. Swear to god the minute him and his girlfriend break up, I’m on a plane to see him.

Then there’s the conversation I had with "Kent". Kent was a friend of mine, which I met through an organization I volunteer with. Him and I were platonic for the longest time. One summer we flirted and had whirlwind sex. We never dated per se, but we were fucking eachothers’ brains out pretty often. I got a little attached and in the end I felt so cheap. It never materialized into anything and we both moved on with our lives.

We had to remain on friendly basis because we were bound to run into eachother again, especially through the organization, so it was akward a bit but we made it through without hating eachothers’ guts.

We chat once in a while on MSN, and just catch up with eachother. I found out him and his girlfriend broke up, so I offered up my sympathies. Then something weird happen; we started to talk about that summer (a couple of years ago). It felt really good to establish some closure, and we agreed that there was a definite lack of communication. Although bed buddies is all great and fun, no groundrules were established and that’s likely why things just didn’t work out. When we ended the conversation I felt so at peace, and way better about him, and the whole thing. I guess I confronted that ghost head on.